Wedding Cake Killer: A Fresh-Baked Mystery Read online

  “Yes,” Phyllis said, “it does.”

  In fact, there were so many ladies in the room that it was starting to seem a little claustrophobic to her, as if they were sucking down all the air and she couldn’t breathe. She knew that feeling was all in her head, but that didn’t make it seem any less real.

  “I think I should go out to the kitchen and check on things,” she went on. “You just sit down and have a good time.”

  “Thank you, dear.” Eve leaned closer and added, “I owe you. Big time.”

  Phyllis waved that off and headed for the kitchen, motioning with a slight movement of her head for Carolyn to follow her.

  When they were in the kitchen by themselves, with the door closed, both of them said, “Whew!” at the same time, then laughed at the identical expression.

  “Refresh my memory,” Phyllis said quietly. “Did even half of those people out there RSVP to let us know they were coming?”

  “They most certainly did not,” Carolyn said. “And it certainly would have helped if they had.”

  “But all too typical these days,” Phyllis muttered as she looked at the trays of snacks spread out across the kitchen counters.

  There were warm sweet bacon crackers fresh out of the oven, nutty caramel pretzels, and cheddar garlic palmiers. Phyllis knew from the smell in the air that the stuffed mushrooms were warming in the oven. There was a zesty cheese ball softening on a decorative silver plate with a matching knife. And in the refrigerator, waiting to be brought out, was a tray filled with mini curried turkey croissant sandwiches. Enough food to feed an army, as Sam might say, but that was good because they practically had an army in the living room.

  The back door opened, and Sam walked into the kitchen. “Hope it’s all right I came around this way,” he said. “I didn’t particularly want to run the gauntlet out there.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Phyllis said. She frowned. “I just remembered . . . Weren’t you and Roy supposed to go bowling this afternoon?”

  Sam’s eyes widened. He slapped himself lightly on the forehead and said, “D’oh! I forgot all about it, what with catchin’ killers and all.” He took his cell phone out of his pocket. “I’ll call him right now and tell him I’m on my way.”

  “Yes, that would tend to distract a person,” Carolyn said.

  Sam grinned and waved as he went back out the door with his cell phone held to his ear.

  “I’m glad Sam and Roy have become friends,” Phyllis said. “I’m sure it’s been tough on him, being in a strange town where he doesn’t have any friends or family.”

  “He didn’t put a single person on the guest list for the shower or the wedding,” Carolyn said.

  “I know. But he seems to be all right with it. As long as he’s got Eve, I think he’s happy.”

  “He should be. She’s a fine woman. He’s lucky to have her.”

  Phyllis smiled. Carolyn and Eve had squabbled quite a bit over the years, but Phyllis knew that they really cared for each other. Carolyn could be a little on the prickly side sometimes. It had taken her more than a year to get used to the idea of Sam living in the house.

  “What still needs to be done?” Phyllis asked, putting her mind back on the matters at hand.

  “The chocolate chocolate chip cupcakes are already on the table along with some cookies and the vegetable and fruit tray, and the punch is in the punch bowl. Eve suggested that we spike it, but I vetoed that. The last thing we want in the living room is a bunch of tipsy teachers.”

  Phyllis laughed. She had to agree with that sentiment.

  “Everything seems to be under control,” she said. “We’ll wait a while before we bring the rest of the food out. Eve wanted to play some games first and then open presents, so it’ll be a while before anyone’s ready to eat.”

  Carolyn’s eyes narrowed. “I swear, if anyone brought any of those perverted gag gifts—”

  “I’m sure everyone will be the soul of decorum,” Phyllis said.

  Actually, she wasn’t sure of that. The retired teachers, the ones from the generation she and Carolyn and Eve belonged to, were all ladies, raised to observe the proprieties. But some of the younger ones, the ones who were still teaching . . . well, you couldn’t ever be a hundred percent sure of what they might do.

  But even so, the last thing she would have expected to hear as she and Carolyn started along the hall toward the living room was voices raised in anger.

  Chapter 2

  “At least you never caught me changing grades because those football players are morons,” one of the women was saying as Phyllis hurried into the living room. She was standing in the middle of the room facing an equally angry woman, while the rest of the guests sat there looking distressed or embarrassed.

  “I never changed a grade for anyone,” the second woman insisted. “And I didn’t have to keep a mouthwash bottle filled with vodka in my desk just to get through the day, either.” She made air quotes as she said the word mouthwash.

  “That’s a despicable lie! Those slutty little dullards only started that rumor because I expected them to actually do their work.”

  Phyllis saw Eve wince at the split infinitive. Once an English teacher, always an English teacher, she supposed. She was the same way whenever someone got facts from American history blatantly wrong.

  Contrary to what Phyllis had been thinking a few moments earlier, it wasn’t two of the younger teachers who were arguing. Rather, it was a couple of the retired teachers, women approximately the same age as Phyllis, Carolyn, and Eve. Phyllis knew them only slightly, and it took her a few seconds to come up with their names.

  Loretta Harbor and Velma Nickson—that was it. Both of them had taught at the high school with Eve. Loretta had taught some sort of advanced math—calculus, maybe—and Velma was home ec. Phyllis didn’t think she had ever exchanged more than a dozen words with either of them.

  Now, though, she said, “Ladies, ladies, there’s no need for this. And you don’t want to ruin Eve’s special day, do you? Besides, it’s Christmas Eve! We should all be filled with the holiday spirit.”

  Loretta said, “If you want to talk about spirits, you should ask Velma about her mouthwash bottle!”

  “That does it,” Velma said. She was a tiny, gray-haired, birdlike woman, but just then she looked like she was ready to tackle Loretta and drag her to the floor.

  Carolyn moved past Phyllis and said, “If you two are going to squabble like a couple of third graders on the playground, the least you can do is take it outside!”

  Eve finally stood up. “Everyone, please. This is a glorious, happy occasion. Loretta, Velma, for my sake, can’t you put those old grudges aside for a little while?”

  The two women continued to glare at each other, but after a moment Velma shrugged and said, “I suppose I can ignore her. For you, Eve.”

  “And I certainly have more willpower than she does,” Loretta said. She made a tippling motion.

  “Just no backbone or integrity,” Velma shot back. “Or maybe it was just that your eyesight was bad and you couldn’t tell a B from an F.”

  Carolyn got between them and said, “Sit down, both of you. Now.”

  Grudgingly, Loretta and Velma retreated to the chairs where they had been sitting, on opposite sides of the room. Still glaring at each other but not saying anything, they sat down.

  “Fine,” Carolyn said. “Now, let’s all just pretend like this never happened.”

  Yes, Phyllis thought, that’s what ladies of their generation did. They pretended that anything unpleasant had never happened, unless they were forced to admit otherwise.

  Carolyn put a hand on Eve’s shoulder and said, “Just go on with whatever you were doing, dear.”

  “Well . . . we were playing Truth,” Eve said. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea anymore.”

  “What about the Dare part?” Carolyn asked.

  “Oh, goodness, most of us are too old for dares.”

  “Well, then, uh . . . w
e can open presents.”

  Eve’s face lit up. “Now, that’s an excellent idea.”

  All the chairs in the room were full, including the extra ones Carolyn had dragged in from other rooms when the crowd began to grow beyond expectations, so she and Phyllis had to stand while Eve opened the presents. Phyllis had a notebook and pen ready so she could write down each gift and who had brought it; this way, Eve could send thank-you cards after the wedding. She supposed that if some of the younger women had that job, they would type the list into their smart phones and e-mail it to themselves and send thank-you texts, but she wasn’t that technologically advanced. She could make calls on her phone, and if she had time to stop and think about what she was doing, she could take a picture with it, but that was about all.

  Loretta and Velma seemed to get caught up in seeing what gifts Eve had gotten, like everybody else, so after a few minutes they stopped glaring and really did ignore each other. Phyllis was glad. She was sorry the party had been marred even for a few minutes, but she was confident the disturbance hadn’t been bad enough to ruin Eve’s memories of the day.

  Her own memories of this Christmas Eve already included uncovering the identity of a murderer. She didn’t need a geriatric catfight to go along with that.

  She looked around the room and realized that she only really knew about half of the women. Most of the others were familiar to her, and she even recalled the names of some of them. But there were a few she didn’t remember ever seeing before.

  There had been names on the guest list that Phyllis didn’t know at all, too. These were women who had taught at the high school with Eve for a year or two, at the end of her career. By that time Phyllis had already been retired, and she’d never had any contact with those younger teachers. Everybody liked Eve, though. It was just a natural reaction to her personality. So Phyllis wasn’t surprised that those women had come to the shower.

  As the pile of gifts dwindled almost to nothing, Carolyn said quietly to Phyllis, “I’ll go take the mushrooms out of the oven and set the rest of the food on the table.”

  “I can come help—,” Phyllis began.

  “I can manage just fine,” Carolyn said. “You’re keeping the list, remember?”

  Phyllis nodded. “All right. I’ll be there in a minute, though, as soon as we’re finished here.”

  Eve opened the last few gifts, and Phyllis made note of them. Later she would type up the list on her computer, but since she couldn’t get to the desk in the corner of the living room very easily because of all the guests, she took the notebook with her and stuck it in a drawer in the kitchen.

  Carolyn had already gotten the other snacks set out on plates and trays. Phyllis put the ice cream balls on top of the punch and gave it a light stir. It turned a pretty light blue color. She put her hands under the bowl and said, “I’ll take this into the dining room. You can bring one of the snack trays.”

  They spent the next few minutes transferring the punch and all the food to the table in the dining room, where napkins, plasticware, and festive paper plates were already set out so that the guests could help themselves buffet-style.

  The table was covered with an elegant white tablecloth, and there were two blue candles and two silver hearts intertwined. Carolyn had already put the buttercream chocolate cupcakes in a couple of wire trees. She had left the top center spots on both wire trees empty and had put small vases of flowers in them. Silver plates of assorted cookies surrounded the trees. There was also a big fruit tray with a sweet creamy dip and a matching tray of vegetables with a veggie dip. She had obviously been very busy while Phyllis was gone. When everything was ready, Phyllis went to the living room and said, “All right, ladies, we have refreshments in the dining room.”

  She was glad to see that everyone seemed to be smiling and talking and laughing. The brief unpleasantness between Loretta Harbor and Velma Nickson appeared to be forgotten. Loretta and Velma were both huddled with separate groups of friends and weren’t paying any attention to each other anymore.

  Phyllis’s announcement started a migration to the dining room. It was still early enough in the afternoon that the guests could eat without spoiling their supper. The noise level in the house went up even more as everyone chatted happily.

  Eve lingered in the living room as everyone else went into the dining room. She came over to Phyllis and squeezed her arm.

  “I can’t tell you how happy this has made me, Phyllis,” she said. “You know me—I’m not a sentimental old softie, but I could almost cry, having all my friends around me like this.”

  “You deserve all the happiness you get,” Phyllis told her. She slipped an arm around Eve’s shoulders and hugged her.

  “Carolyn told me you solved that awful murder.”

  “I was lucky,” Phyllis said. “I figured it out before it was too late.”

  “You always do, dear.” Eve laughed. “My goodness, I’m glad Loretta and Velma didn’t murder each other right here in the living room! But then you wouldn’t have had to solve that one, would you, since we’d all know who did it.”

  “Don’t even talk about it,” Phyllis said. “No more murders, especially not here.” She paused. Since Eve didn’t seem to mind discussing the incident, she went on, “Those things they were accusing each other of . . .”

  “Changing grades and nipping from a bottle of vodka during class?” Eve smiled. “Oh, my, yes. Loretta wasn’t just about to let any of her precious football players fail her class and get booted off the team, and as for Velma . . . she’d be snockered by the time the dismissal bell rang on the first day of school, and I’m not sure she sobered up until the last day in the spring! She was one of those high-performance boozers, though, who could always get her work done, drunk or sober.”

  “Good to know,” Phyllis muttered.

  Eve linked arms with her and said, “Let’s go sample those delicious appetizers of yours. Do you know if Carolyn spiked the punch like I suggested?”

  “I’m pretty sure she didn’t.”

  “Good, then we don’t have to worry about Velma diving headfirst into the punch bowl.”

  Phyllis couldn’t do anything but laugh as Eve led her toward the dining room.

  For the next half hour or so, everyone spread out through the dining room and living room, eating snacks off the paper plates and drinking punch from plastic cups. They all seemed to be having a good time, and Phyllis was glad. She liked being a hostess and seeing her guests enjoying themselves.

  But she was glad to see them go, too, drifting out by twos and threes after hugging Eve and offering her their best wishes on her upcoming wedding and marriage. Having company was fine, but the aftermath of having company was better. Phyllis didn’t even mind the cleaning up that much, especially when she had Carolyn and Eve to help her.

  “What were Sam and Roy doing this afternoon?” Eve asked as they put away the leftover food.

  “Sam said they were going to go bowling,” Phyllis replied. “I don’t know when they’ll be back.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Roy and I have a quiet evening planned. I’ve had enough excitement for the day, I think. And it is Christmas Eve.”

  “I’ll be going over to Sandra’s house,” Carolyn said. She and her daughter spent a lot of holidays together. Some years, Phyllis would have gone to Mike and Sarah’s house for Christmas Eve, or they would have come here and brought her grandson, Bobby, but this year, with the added distraction of the bridal shower, they had decided to wait until Christmas Day to come over.

  That was fine, Phyllis thought. Families needed to have their own holiday traditions that weren’t tied to what the parents or grandparents had always done. That was all part of the inevitable process of change she had been thinking about earlier.

  “What about you and Sam?” Carolyn went on.

  “It’s a Wonderful Life, of course,” Phyllis said. “Maybe White Christmas, if there’s time.” She never tired of watching those classic movies, even though she
had seen them so many times she practically knew all the dialogue by heart.

  “No other plans?” Eve said.

  Phyllis shook her head. “Nope.”

  What more could she want than to curl up on the sofa with Sam and watch some good movies? Especially after the day she’d had.

  To be honest, right now that sounded pretty much like heaven to her.

  Chapter 3

  “I saw the cutest cake topper in a magazine the other day,” Carolyn said a couple of days later as she sat at the kitchen table with Phyllis and Sam. The three of them were lingering over their breakfast coffee. “It had the bride dragging the groom, as if he were trying desperately to get away. Do you think we should try to find one like that for Eve’s cake, Phyllis?”

  With an effort, Phyllis managed not to frown as she said, “Well, I’m not sure.” She knew that Carolyn had a pretty low opinion of marriage in general because of the way her own had worked out, but she didn’t think a cake topper like that would send a very good message. It wasn’t really appropriate, either, since Eve was hardly having to drag Roy to the altar. “I thought the topper we’d picked out already was pretty good . . .”

  “I think Carolyn’s jokin’,” Sam said with a smile.

  “Of course I am!” Carolyn said. “That would be ridiculous. You didn’t think I was serious, did you, Phyllis?”

  “No, of course not,” Phyllis said.

  It bothered her that she hadn’t realized Carolyn was joking. Although to be fair, Carolyn had never been known for her witticisms. She was the one who always took things deadly serious. Maybe her own sense of humor just wasn’t up to par these days because she’d been overwhelmed by everything that was happening.

  At least Christmas Day had passed in a peaceful, pleasant manner. She and Sam had spent the day here with Mike, Sarah, and Bobby. She hadn’t prepared a big meal. Instead they had feasted on the leftovers from the shower. Even though more guests had shown up than expected, Phyllis’s tendency to have more food on hand than was really necessary had come in handy. There had been plenty left to feed all five of them on Christmas, which made it an easy day for her.